Friday, March 04, 2005

tits = $$$

Before I start this rant, I'd just like to say that I like tits. Tits are special. They come in all different shapes and sizes and colors and, it being a matter of personal taste, no shape/size/color combination is superior to any other.

In most situations, especially in business situations, it is not appropriate to draw attention to or emphasize the presence of a pair of tits. (If you work in the pornography industry, this is probably not the case; please bear with me.) Generally speaking, it is most appropriate to avert one's eyes.

That being said, this is not a lecture on proper social behavior and I will now drop this cheesy, faux instruction manual tone.

I just noticed this ad on the Yahoo! mail website. It reads, "Opening an online store is easier than you think." And then there's this photo of a woman-- generically attractive, blonde, wearing a tight red, standing there with a shit-eating grin on her face. The photo ends just below her boobs, and in case your eyes haven't wandered there yet, they give you a hand and put some large, non-essential text flush to the bottom of the photo. I say non-essential because come on, they don't really expect you to read it instead of looking at the tits, do they?

You may be asking yourself right now, "Is this woman doing anything related to opening an online store?" Don't be silly, this isn't a cigarette ad! If it were, she'd be wearing a bikini and there'd be three of her playing tug of war on a beach in Azul.

The woman is standing next to a computer monitor, but you probably can't tell because it's out of focus and it's covered up by three rows of large text. Also, the bottom row is right next to her left boob.

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