Monday, March 28, 2005

The one by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen

Does anyone know the changes to "Only the Lonely" (the standard, not the Roy Orbison tune)?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Yum!

I like crackers!  Mmm-mmm crackers!
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Monday, March 21, 2005

Look at me! Look at me! Look at meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Hi, I'm wasting time. This is me, trying to look all moody and artsy an' shit.


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Here I am, lounging on the futon in my dusty and malodorous dorm room.

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Chicks dig guys who play the guitar. This is me in my bedroom at home. Color by Technicolor(c)

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Pander to my self-indulgent nature with your hyperbolic and inoffensively crude praise of dubious sincerity!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

It's fucking cold outside!

It's not snowing anymore but the wind is blowing the snow everywhere. That's almost worse because the snow comes at you harder and it gets in your face and somehow gets under your shirt. I don't enjoy the sensation of snow melting against my naked flesh. I'm not sure if I enjoy the sensation of anything melting against my naked flesh.

At least they canceled that concert tonight. I wasn't going to go because of the weather but now I don't feel bad about not going. Because it's canceled. So no one's going. Combo was canceled, too, moreso because 2 guys were going to play in the concert, which would have conflicted with combo rehearsal. And then the bassist couldn't get a ride to campus, what with the weather. I wasn't in the mood to walk down to the FAC for a drums/guitar duo rehearsal, and the drummer seemed to feel similarly, so that was that.

Boy, oh boy. I'm really good at writing insipid entries. I'm really good at most activities that are borderline wastes of time.

Friday, March 04, 2005

tits = $$$

Before I start this rant, I'd just like to say that I like tits. Tits are special. They come in all different shapes and sizes and colors and, it being a matter of personal taste, no shape/size/color combination is superior to any other.

In most situations, especially in business situations, it is not appropriate to draw attention to or emphasize the presence of a pair of tits. (If you work in the pornography industry, this is probably not the case; please bear with me.) Generally speaking, it is most appropriate to avert one's eyes.

That being said, this is not a lecture on proper social behavior and I will now drop this cheesy, faux instruction manual tone.

I just noticed this ad on the Yahoo! mail website. It reads, "Opening an online store is easier than you think." And then there's this photo of a woman-- generically attractive, blonde, wearing a tight red, standing there with a shit-eating grin on her face. The photo ends just below her boobs, and in case your eyes haven't wandered there yet, they give you a hand and put some large, non-essential text flush to the bottom of the photo. I say non-essential because come on, they don't really expect you to read it instead of looking at the tits, do they?

You may be asking yourself right now, "Is this woman doing anything related to opening an online store?" Don't be silly, this isn't a cigarette ad! If it were, she'd be wearing a bikini and there'd be three of her playing tug of war on a beach in Azul.

The woman is standing next to a computer monitor, but you probably can't tell because it's out of focus and it's covered up by three rows of large text. Also, the bottom row is right next to her left boob.